Violence in children is a complicated issue with many causes. It is easy to point fingers at some of the more obvious potential culprits. For example, television provides a steady diet of violence. It has been estimated that by the time children turn 18 they have been exposed to 40,000 deaths on TV. Usually with no mention of the grieving that families endure when a loved one has died. Similarly rock music and rap music often contains lyrics explicitly promoting killing and other violence.
Video games seem to go a step further. They not only are violent but the player of the game is also the shooter. Movies glorify violent deaths and revenge. The Internet is filled with websites carrying violent themes. There are even websites that tell the viewer how to make bombs. Guns are easy to get and have become a symbol of rebellion and power among some youth. Our schools have become segregated with cliques who intimidate each other sometimes in brutal ways.
The solutions to the problem of violence in children are not clear. It may seem that there is little that can be done to stem the larger social tides which underlie this problem. We can, however, take steps within our own homes to reduce the probability of raising children who succumb to violent behaviour.
Some specific steps to minimize violence in children:
- Give children plenty of love and attention
- Don’t use physical punishment with children
- Show children appropriate ways of behaving through your example
- Supervise your children
- Decrease exposure to violence
- Take steps to protect children from violence
Although we do not have control over all the causes of violence in children, we can at least take steps to help our kids grow up with a sense of love and safety. Also, we can teach them the skills to know how to resist violence in their lives. The rewards of effective parenting are enormous.
Our children are our legacy and the future. They deserve love and the wisdom that we can pass on to them. Research studies have shown that aggressive behaviour is learned early in life. Parents, family members and others can take steps to reduce or minimize violence by raising children in safe, loving and trusting homes. We all make mistakes in our lives, and this may seem especially true when it comes to raising children, but trying to do our best can have a great impact on the lives of children.
If your household is characterized by violence, or if your child seems prone to excessive anger or violent behavior, realize that there is effective help through therapy.