Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is an integral feature of emotional health. How others treat us is greatly influenced by the way we see ourselves. We all know people who genuinely like themselves and feel content with their lives. Because they see the positive in themselves, they are able to understand and appreciate the good in other people. They treat others with a sense of respect – a skill they know well because this is how they treat themselves. When our feelings about ourselves are positive, we show others that we like and value ourselves – and then others tend to treat us well. But when we have negative feelings about ourselves, so that we are too critical, complaining and pessimistic, others tend to take this attitude toward us as well. How we treat ourselves helps determine how others will treat us.
The thoughts we have about ourselves, or how we define ourselves, contribute to our self-image. The feelings we have about these thoughts, whether these feelings are good or bad, are the building blocks of our self-esteem, Our self-image, and gradually our self-esteem, can be molded by our parents, family, friends, physical or intellectual abilities, education, and jobs. Just as we have definitions for most things in the world, we also have definitions of ourselves. We come to define ourselves the way others define us. Thus, if others treat us with love and kindness, as if we are special and unique people, then we will eventually define ourselves in this way as well. On the other hand, if other people treat us as if we are a bother to have around and not worth much, then we will also come to see ourselves in this way.
Self-Esteem and Therapy
One of the things that therapy does best is to address issues of self-esteem. Many of us are wounded, in one way or another, by the way we were treated as we grew up. As adults it is our responsibility to put closure on the damage inflicted on us by others and to move on with our lives in a healthy way. A trained therapist can point out the ways in which we engage in destructive patterns of behavior. Therapy allows us to explore why we punish ourselves and why we see ourselves as being less than other people. We have the ability to change our negative self-esteem tendencies by developing self-nurturing, self-encouraging, and self-enhancing behavior. When we begin to treat ourselves in a more positive way, others pick up on our cues and respond to us in the special way we all deserve.
Techniques for Creating Positive Self-Esteem
- Work on your private thoughts
- Examine your unrealistic expectations
- Accept the fact that history cannot be changed
- Reflect on the good experiences in your life
- Set positive goals for the future
When you are ready to schedule your first appointment please complete our Intake Form and someone will call you as soon as possible.